Charting the course…sort of.

In the few days that I’ve been at this I’ve already covered much of the textbook stuff. You know, I want to do this, I wish I did that…likes and dislikes. Some of that is productive and some is fun but certainly not life changing by any means. We can revisit some of that stuff along the way but only in small doses.

Before we get too far into this process I think it might be good idea to chart the course just a little bit. Now, I’m not saying just point the ship at the horizon and sail in a straight line forever…not much sense in that at all. At the same time, hop-skipping all over the place isn’t a great way to go either so I would like to offer a little navigation here. Granted, I do have a fair amount of ground to cover but I want things to flow a little bit at least.

As you might have gleaned from the name of this blog, there could be three distinct areas of focus and you would be correct. The “then” portion is obviously the past. There are a few stories that I’d like to share from the past, some fun, some not so fun. We all have a past and as much as we all might think that ours is the most interesting of all, it’s not. One fact still remains though, sometimes reflecting on the past may then allow you to better focus on the here and now more effectively. In my case, it might be worth a shot so we’re gonna complain a little, joke a little, then close the book on it. The “now” part is just as obvious and that may include any number of ideas and stories of the present. A little tip here, at present I am kinda of at a crossroads but we’ll get into that soon enough. Lastly, the “tomorrow” part. Ah yes, the future, the journey I’ve hinted about. Well, that’s coming…

So, yeah, I’m going to jump around a bit but this is the general direction of things. Enough of that, let’s get to it.


Things I will never do…

I will never forget the the 9/11 disaster.
I will never encourage my children to do the wrong thing.
I will never admit to an overweight person that they are overweight.
I will never experiment with drugs.
I will never tell the priest at our church how I really feel.
I will never be ungrateful again for what I have.
I will never smoke cigarettes.
I will never stop missing my father.

I’m going through a process here so bare with me.

More of this to follow…

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Things I really want to do…

This isn’t a bucket list, just a few things I want to get right.

I want to be a better father.
I want to make furniture.
I want to find a way to make the headaches less frequent.
I want to be more patient.
I want to not over prepare for everything I do…just wing it once in a while.
I want to live in the country.
I want to take better pictures.
I want to be able to age with dignity…no nursing home.
I want to forgive people so I can be more relaxed.

Again, please forgive this process I am navigating through…more of this at a later date.

Posted from WordPress for Android while driving at a high rate of speed…

Jumping right in…

My name is Paul. I live in the northeast area of the country. For several years I thought at some point I would take the time to tell my story, the story of my past, where I went, what I did and what happened to me along the way. A few years back I looked around a little as I thought of how to connect with others, learn of their experiences and share mine too. It was about that time I was introduced to Facebook so I opened an account and off I went. For the first few months I really did enjoy reconnecting with people I went to school with, worked with and even grew up with but what I soon discovered was that I found them on FB but the re-connection part never happened. Well, time went on I exchanged some photos, jokes and web links with friends and family but the connection part just didn’t come to be. Now, I could spend a lot of time sharing my thoughts about FB but that has all been said before and the privacy settings…blah blah blah but nobody forced me to use FB and it is what it is. Having said that, there is one aspect of Facebook and social media as a whole that our society will be coping with like nothing before in our history. Social media has allowed us to build a very large list of friends, coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances and even a ton of people we don’t even know and we brought them together as a group in our profile for lack of a better term. When you add in the thousands of friends of friends that we now have some electronic link to, we now have instant lines of communication with thousands of others, 24/7, 365 days a year.

When my grandparents got older they became aware of someone’s passing by finding the obituary in the newspaper or just from hearing about it through the grapevine. In other cases they may have learned of a close friend or neighbor that had died and this unfortunately was all part of getting older and happened at a rate that most of us had become accustomed to coping with. What I mean is, I believe we all have a capacity, a limit to which how much we can grieve. What I mean is, if a person dies, you grieve a certain amount and when a few people die maybe you grieve more deeply…it hurts more sometimes. I think what our parents and grandparents had in what I call the “grieving capacity” may be somewhat different than what this and future generations may endure…it may be vastly different and here’s why. Think about it, as we all begin to get older, we will be experiencing or become aware of the deaths of first only a few friends maybe at first but then as we and everyone else ages, we will slowly become aware of more and more people passing…more than usual, then dozens more and as we get older, we will likely be mourning, in varying degrees of course, the passing of dozens of people a month from our huge lists of friends and friends of friends. In the past, many of these folks would’ve died quite possibly without us even knowing about it but now our capacity to grieve may be pushed like no other time in history. Many people have several thousand names in their friends list…are they prepared for what’s in store as they grow older…do people have the the “grieving capacity” of say 1,500 friends, how about 5,000? How will you feel when your friends list goes from a few hundred to about 10…are we ready for that? We have never experienced such personl loss in such a measured fashion before. For me, I think I might not like to know if 20 or 30 more of my high school classmates, 4 neighbors and 2 ex-coworkers passed away this year; it just doesn’t feel natural, at least for me to be aware of all that and at some point the numbers will become far greater. In other words in the example I used with the generations before us, they suffered the loss of or were exposed to the loss of a few people a year…of course this varies, but what might it be like if you became aware of several hundred of your friends or their friends passing over the course of a year? I think that exceeds my capacity…

I imagine this is the first time you have considered this idea and yes, it is a bit of a strange concept, but give it a couple of days, really think about this, then come back and let me know what you think and how you feel.

Day #1

Today is the first step of many as I set out to explore a few things in my life and the “life” around me. Along the way I will have a great many things to say, but of course that’s why keyboards and blogs were invented I imagine. Also, there are a great many topics that I would like to navigate through and what better place to carry out this process than on the world wide web.

Since you don’t know me, I think it might be a good idea if over the next few days and weeks I try to explain or illustrate who I am, how I feel, where I have come from…all of this, in preparation for a journey that will begin very soon. I just think that to enjoy this trip we are going on together (more on that later of course), it might be a good idea to give you the reader a perspective…a good understanding for why I have the views that I have and where we are going to go…and of course why we are going to go there.

Along the way I will be mixing in a few more things just to keep it real because I think it may be interesting or just because I can.